Right to First Refusal | Extra Parenting Time

 

What is Right of First Refusal?

    The right of first refusal clause is added to a parenting plan when one parent is unable to care for the child for a short period of time. It gives both parents the opportunity to rely on each other instead of seeking costly alternative child care. This can apply to situations that may come up last minute, or could be a situation that has been planned out for months in advance.

    Let's say a mother of three decides to go on a two-day vacation during her parenting time. Instead of calling a babysitter, she would have to call the father of the children first and give him the option to spend that extra time with their children. If he is unavailable, then she can find someone else to watch them. It is important to include in the right of first refusal clause whether step parents or grandparents and other relatives can be included or does the other parent have to be offered the extra time first. If you have custody of your children and are in a high conflict custody battle, it looks well when you have offered right of first refusal to your ex. If you are aware that it takes both parents to raise a child, then you want to be able to portray that in court. 

When is Right of First Refusal Appropriate?

    Right of first refusal is appropriate when both parents can communicate with each other and get along well. The amount of hours that can trigger the clause into effect is determined by both parents. For instance, some parents may trigger the clause into effect only if they will be unavailable for a minimum of 4 hours, while other may choose to trigger their right of first refusal for as little as one hour. This is where communication between both parties is essential. If writing emails and text messages do not work regularly, then this may not be appropriate for you.

    If there are no concerns with domestic violence or one parent having supervised visits, then this would be appropriate to add to any parenting plan. Other situations where right to first refusal is appropriate is during doctors appointments, after-school daycare or a day out with your friends. It is not appropriate for everyone. Be practical and reasonable when adding this clause to your parenting plan.

Keep in Mind...

    Right to first refusal is not mandatory. It is a clause that you can add to your parenting plan. Spending as much time with your children as you can, helps them develop future relationships with others and can be beneficial for their mental and emotional health. Try to give the other parent ample time to prepare and use this extra time only when necessary. To communicate with the other parent on short notice may make he other parent feel like you are purposefully sabotaging their extra parenting time. Reaching out to the other parent for everyday regular working hours can make the other parent feel like they are being taken advantage of so be sure to specify how many hours can trigger this clause. Determine who is considered alternative childcare(step parent, grandparent, aunt) and understand that the right to first refusal benefits the child when both parents can work together. 

Click here to listen to my podcast called Visitation: Let's talk custody with Nicole Daniels for other tips and tricks on how you, too can survive a high conflict custody battle.

This article is for informational use only and should be used as a guideline to aide in your research.