Restoring Families Project - Awareness Campaign

Restoring Families: A New Approach to High-Conflict Custody That Heals Instead of Harms

For decades, high-conflict custody litigation has been treated as an unavoidable part of family court; an unfortunate reality that parents must simply endure. But what if the crisis is not inevitable? What if the system itself, in its design, is generating emotional harm, escalating conflict, and pulling families deeper into trauma rather than guiding them toward stability?

The Restoring Families Project was created to answer that question.

As a custody coach, advocate, and mother who spent five years trapped inside a system that seemed blind to the emotional realities of parents and children, I experienced firsthand what research has confirmed for years: the adversarial structure of family court is not designed for healing. It is designed for winning. And in a system where “winning” often means tearing down the other parent, the real losers are always the children caught in the middle.

This project represents the solution I wish existed when I began my own battle; a trauma-informed, family-systems approach that treats conflict as a system that needs healing, not a war that needs to be fought.

The Hidden Cost of High-Conflict Custody: What Families Are Not Told

High-conflict custody is not just a legal problem. It is a public health issue.

Research overwhelmingly shows:

• Parents experience clinically significant levels of anxiety, hypervigilance, and emotional dysregulation during litigation.
• Children exposed to chronic parental conflict internalize fear, confusion, and loyalty binds that shape their development for years.
• Court processes increase financial strain, housing instability, work disruption, and mental health crises.
• Unmarried parents who often lack legal representation report feeling powerless, unheard, and overwhelmed from the moment they enter the system.

Yet despite this evidence, family courts are one of the last social institutions that have not integrated trauma-informed practices.

Schools have.
Child welfare agencies have.
Juvenile justice systems have.

But custody courts?
They remain adversarial, reactive, and emotionally dismissive.

The Restoring Families Project exists because ignoring trauma has become the norm and it is costing families their stability, their relationships, and their futures.

The Missing Link: Family Systems Theory in Custody Cases

Imagine if instead of calling two attorneys to “battle it out,” a custody case automatically triggered a family systems evaluation; a holistic look at the dynamics, stressors, communication patterns, and trauma responses influencing the conflict.

That is the heart of family systems theory.

Bowen Family Systems Theory, structural therapy models, and trauma-informed practice offer something the court system currently does not:

A way to understand:

• Why conflict escalates
• How trauma shapes communication
• Why parents become reactive
• What children need to feel emotionally safe
• How the family can stabilize without months or years of litigation

Research shows that when systems interventions begin early, before conflict spirals, families experience fewer returns to court, improved co-parenting outcomes, and greater emotional resilience.

This is the innovation the Restoring Families Project is bringing to the front lines.

Why the Current System Fails Parents

When parents enter family court, they are often in one of the most emotionally vulnerable chapters of their lives. They are grieving, overwhelmed, or navigating traumatic circumstances. But instead of receiving support, they are placed into a procedural machine that:

• Does not evaluate trauma unless ordered
• Does not mandate therapeutic assessment
• Does not provide education on communication or conflict escalation
• Does not address emotional safety
• Does not consider how stress and instability affect parenting capacity
• Does not teach parents how to develop structure, predictability, or co-parenting boundaries

And in many states, there is no standard psychological evaluation unless the conflict becomes so extreme that the court is forced to intervene.

By the time a case reaches that point, the damage is already done.

A Personal Turning Point: Why I Started This Movement

I did not enter this work as a coach, strategist, or advocate.

I entered it as a mother who nearly lost her sanity.

During my own five-year battle, I discovered a painful truth: the court process itself created more conflict than it resolved. The longer the case dragged on, the more emotionally drained I became. The more drained I became, the more the system interpreted me as “unstable or impulsive.” The more unstable I looked, the more the opposing side weaponized it.

I was fighting for my child while simultaneously fighting to keep myself together.

No parent should be placed in that position, especially with 4 other children to care for.

The Restoring Families Project is the bridge between my lived experience, education in the Introduction to the U.S. legal system and the hundreds of parents I’ve supported as a Custody Coach.

Families should not have to lose themselves in order to protect their children.

What the Restoring Families Project Offers

This initiative is a multi-layered, trauma-informed campaign designed to reform how parenting disputes are handled inside and outside the courtroom.

1. Trauma-Informed Parent Education

Teaching parents how trauma affects behavior, communication, and emotional regulation.

2. Systems-Based Conflict Assessments

Tools that identify root causes of conflict rather than symptoms.

3. Research-Based Advocacy

Bringing evidence to policymakers, professors, mental health professionals, and community organizations.

4. Curriculum for Parents

How to document the right way, communicate without triggering escalation, and stabilize the family environment.

5. Public Awareness Campaign

Posters, blogs, infographics, social media messaging, and presentations that show the public what courts do not explain.

6. Policy Reform Conversations

Engaging universities, legislators, and agencies to bring trauma-informed systems assessments into standard custody procedure.

7. Professional Training

Equipping mediators, evaluators, and advocates to integrate trauma and systems understanding into their practice.

This is not just a project at the University of Bridgeport that I created a research poster for.
It is a solution.
A blueprint for a healthier way to resolve conflict before it destroys families.

A Vision for the Future: What Family Court Could Become

Imagine a custody system where:

• Emotional safety is prioritized as much as physical safety.
• Parents are evaluated through a trauma-informed lens, not assumptions.
• Families receive systems support before litigation intensifies.
• Children are shielded from adult conflict.
• Judges receive training in trauma, domestic violence, and family dynamics.
• Mental health professionals are integrated into the early stages of the case.
• Parents leave with skills, not scars.

This is not idealism.
It is achievable.
And the Restoring Families Project is the blueprint for getting there.

Why This Matters to Government & Society

1. Lower Crime Rates

Children raised in high-conflict, chaotic environments face:

• higher delinquency rates
• increased mental health challenges
• greater likelihood of entering the justice system

Resolving family conflict at the systems level reduces these long-term risks.

2. Reduced Social Services Burden

High-conflict families frequently interact with:

• CPS/DCF
• family court
• welfare programs
• mental health services
• school intervention teams

When conflict decreases, the demand on public agencies drops significantly.

3. A More Productive Workforce

Parents stuck in custody battles:

• miss work
• experience chronic stress
• struggle with instability
• have reduced economic output

A systems-based resolution frees parents to be:

• employable
• stable
• emotionally regulated
• better contributors to the economy

4. Lower Court Costs

High-conflict cases can last years, draining:

• court staff
• GALs
• judges
• evaluators
• mediators

Implementing a therapy-driven systems study early can shorten case timelines by 6–18 months.

Why This Matters Now

We are in a moment of national crisis.
Family instability is rising, mental health needs are growing, and the family court system is overwhelmed. Children are paying the price for a system that was never designed to meet their emotional needs.

But change does not begin in legislation.
Change begins with awareness.

Change begins with us.

The Restoring Families Project is my commitment as a mother, an advocate, and the founder of Strategic Custody Consulting, to ensure that no parent has to navigate conflict alone, unprepared, or unheard. By bringing trauma-informed, systems-based solutions to the forefront, we can shift the culture of custody from adversarial to restorative.

Families deserve healing.
Children deserve stability.
And parents deserve a system that sees their humanity.

This is the work.
This is the mission.
This is the movement.

Restoring Families is not just a campaign,  it’s a lifeline. And it starts now.

National Hotline Crisis Number is 988

Works Cited:

https://barrygoldstein.net/articles/how-many-deaths-caused-by-shared-parenting

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4699178/

Brown, J. & Errington, L. (2024) Bowen family systems theory and practice: Illustration and critique revisited. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 45, 135–155. Available from: https://doi.org/10.1002/anzf.1589

Connecticut Judicial Branch. (2015). Family matters satisfaction study. https://www.jud.ct.gov/family/Family_Matters_Satisfaction_Study.pdf 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). “SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma‑Informed Approach.” PDF available: https://www.health.ny.gov/health_care/medicaid/program/medicaid_health_homes/docs/samhsa_trau ma_concept_paper.pdf New York State Department of Health+1