Help! My Child is Not Safe with the Other Parent: Abuse

Male hand hitting child 

Navigating Co-Parenting with an Abusive Ex: Supervised Visits and No Visits

    Being a parent is a challenging task, but when you add an abusive co-parent to the mix, it can be a traumatic and overwhelming experience. If you are facing an abusive co-parent, it is important to take action to protect yourself and your children. One option is to seek court-ordered supervised visits or no visits at all for the abusive parent.

What is a Supervised Visit?

Supervised visits are visits between a parent and their children that are monitored by a third party, usually a trained professional, to ensure the safety and well-being of the children. This type of visit is often ordered.

by the court when there are concerns about abuse or neglect, or when the parent has a history of drug or alcohol abuse. The purpose of supervised visits is to provide a safe and controlled environment for the parent and children to interact while also protecting the children from harm.

How to Request Supervised Visits or No Visits in Court

The process of seeking supervised visits or no visits through the court may seem intimidating, but with the right support, you can successfully navigate this difficult situation. Here are the steps you should take:

  • Gather Evidence: Collect evidence of the abuse, such as police reports, medical records, and witness statements. This evidence will be crucial in supporting your case in court.
  • Contact a Family Law Attorney: Your attorney can represent you in court. If you are unable to retain an attorney, I have created the Empowered Parents Network. A list of attorneys and other legal professionals across the United States and Puerto Rico who are more than willing to assist you in your case. You also have the option to self-represent. As a custody coach I can help you to navigate the child custody process and provide valuable resources so that you can be better prepared.
  • File the Motion: Once you have gathered the necessary evidence, file the motion with the court. The judge will then consider the evidence and testimony presented and make a determination on the appropriate level of supervision or contact.
  • Reach Out to Support Resources: It is important to reach out to support resources, such as a domestic violence hotline or a therapist, to help you and your children cope with the stress and trauma of the situation.



Protecting Yourself and Your Children

Seeking court-ordered supervised visits or no visits can help provide a safer environment for you and your family. It is important to remember that you have the right to protect yourself and your children from abuse, and seeking help from the court is a step in the right direction.

If you are facing an abusive co-parent, know that you are not alone. With the right support, you can successfully navigate this difficult situation and provide a safe and healthy environment for your children.

Abuse to the Parent

    In the case where the co-parent is not abusive to the child but only to you, it can still be important to seek court-ordered supervised visits or no visits to protect yourself. This can help ensure that any interactions between the co-parent and the children are safe and do not escalate into a harmful situation for you.

    Evidence of the abuse towards you, such as police reports and witness statements, can still be presented in court to support your case for supervised visits or no visits. Additionally, reaching out to support resources such as a domestic violence hotline can provide you with the emotional and practical support you need during this time. It is important to prioritize your own safety and well-being, and seeking court-ordered protection can be a step towards achieving that.


You did not Report the Abuse

    If the victim parent has not reported the abuse to the police, they may still have options for seeking court-ordered supervised visits. Here are a few steps they can take:

  • Document the Abuse: It is important for the victim parent to document any instances of abuse, including dates, times, and a description of the events. This documentation can be used as evidence in court.
  • Reach Out to Support Resources: Contacting a domestic violence hotline or a therapist can provide the victim parent with support and resources to help them cope with the situation. If you decide to visit the domestic violence hotline and you need to leave the page quickly, there is an escape button at the top right of the page. These resources may also be able to provide guidance on seeking court-ordered supervised visits.
  • Present Evidence in Court: The victim parent can present the documentation of the abuse, as well as testimony and evidence from any witnesses or support resources, in court to support their request for supervised visits.

    It is important to remember that seeking court-ordered supervised visits is a way to protect the safety and well-being of both the victim parent and the children. The victim parent should not be discouraged if they have not reported the abuse to the police, as there are still options available to them to seek protection.


    In conclusion, navigating the complexities of an abusive co-parenting relationship can be a heart-wrenching and overwhelming experience. We understand that seeking protection and support can be a difficult decision, but it is a necessary step towards ensuring the safety and well-being of both the victim parent and the children. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and professionals who can help guide you through this process. Whether it's through court-ordered supervised visits or no visits at all, it is possible to find a resolution that prioritizes the safety and well-being of all involved. We wish you strength and resilience as you take this important step towards a brighter future.


This article is for informational use only and should be used as a guideline to aide in your research.

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